I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
