but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
