A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
