When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
