she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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