Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
