I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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