i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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