I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
