we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
A bitchslap is in order.
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