It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
