dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
