She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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