I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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