Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
