Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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