i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
