I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
