Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
