Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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