in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
