If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
