I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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