Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
3 2 1 whiskey
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
