drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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