Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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