Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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