Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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