I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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