are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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