She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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