dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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