Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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