At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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