this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i out mim tonsoeep
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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