I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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