barbara walters just said penis...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
