god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
PANTIES FOUND
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