Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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