I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
