I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize