You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
