Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
