You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
