I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize