I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize