I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
