You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
