i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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