i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
