have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
