some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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