Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
