That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
