Cold hands, warm shart.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
