the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
