Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize