Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
did i walk over a car last night?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize