the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
