don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
