dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
