I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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