We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
