I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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