at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
