they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
