I think I just saw someone hide a body.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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