my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
ok first of all what the fuck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
