...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
