I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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