the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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