dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
