Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
