Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
