Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Mom said you looked used
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
