now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
